Laid off in America

2003-06-23T09:14:00.000-07:00

Falling from Grace

I wasn't going to write this column because the topic depressed me and scared me. But, ever the optimist, I found a way to "reconstruct" what I'm going to write about. And, in fact, the Fast Company article that quoted me helped solidify that reconstruction. On top of that, on Sunday the New York TImes proclaimed it a "bull market", plus it wasn't full of unemployment woes so maybe this whole column will be a mute point! It's also sunny and gorgeous. Maybe that's helping my mood too.

I read a book written in the late 80s called "Falling From Grace: The experience of downward mobility in the american middle class" by Katherine S. Newman. The research for the book was collected during the early 80s (when we were in another recession, I was in Peoria, IL when this book was written and I remember bumper stickers reading "Will the last one to leave Peoria please turn out the lights?"--has anyone else noticed that unemployment seems to peak and ebb every 10 years?) and it is about the hundreds of thousands of middle class americans who plunge down the social ladder every year, losing their jobs, suffering sharp drops of income and prolonged economic hardship.

I also read the recent article in CNNMoney (6/17/03): http://www.moneymag.com/2003/06/12/pf/saving/duppies/index.htm (sorry still haven't conquered the art of hyperlinking--it's probably easy) called "Here come the Duppies: Tough times have spawned a new class of depressed urban professionals" by Leslie Haggin Geary. She quotes some statistics "According to government labor statistics, 4.8 million individuals are underemployed. That's on top of the 8.7 million counted as unemployed and looking for jobs, not to mention the 4.2 million non-working who don't bother."

We all believe in the American Dream--work hard and we will work our way up. We will be at higher levels and earning more when we retire than when we start our working life. Way more. But that is only illusion for many people. Particularly when markets shift. Particularly when there is a market downturn. The hot, fast moving, innovative job you are in turns into a commodity (think tech, heck, think leadership development!).

We also have two other tendencies. I'm certainly guilty of the first one--we define ourselves heavily by our careers. I almost always ask people what they "do" when I first meet them--that's how I define them (of course I AM an Industrial and Organizational Psychologist). Second we have a tendency to equate more money with more happiness and think we will be happier when our paycheck is bigger rather than now. (Hey wait a minute, these last two statements are slightly paradoxical-go figure). So the idea of taking a less challenging job, or a less payng one, can do real damage to our psyches.

But instead, I would like to reframe the issue. Perhaps market downturns such as these can be a good thing for some of us. Most people won't leave a perfectly good paycheck without some prompting (say, a lucrative call from a head hunter) even if we hate our jobs. While many of us may feel it necessary to take a job, any job, once our savings are depleted to stay off the streets (a real concern during a prolonged downturn), others of us reevaluate and take a different path. I think that if you MUST take a lower job and a paycut, then you should at least try to do something new (so you can learn), fun (so you can enjoy going to work), or meaningful (so that even if the job is beneath you and you are earning magnitudes less at least you know that you are doing a good deed to society).

I took a lesser paying, but I think higher status job that probably fits my interests and skills a whole lot better. I won't retire rich, but I'll retire happier and probably live longer. I have a friend who was laid off from the financial industry. She just took a job as a fund raiser in a not-for-profit (she was volunteering there anyway). I think she has finally found her niche and may be mentally healthier as a result. I have another friend who voluntarily left her job (in fund raising for a non-profit) to become a full time piano and music teacher--her true love.

And heck, I have a husband who is leaving a perfectly good job as Chief Technology Officer at a tech firm that is doing okay (now that's a job many of us would drool over) to find himself and be a stay-at-home daddy. I don't believe I mentioned that on top of all this--being laid off, networking, finding a new job, etc., I'm also pregnant and will be taking a leave of absence from my new job right after I start it. Fortunately my university and department couldn't be more supportive of such matters! And I am confident that as a result of this, my husband and our family as a whole will come out of this happier and more fulfilled, despite the fact that we will be living on a junior professor rather than a CTO salary.

2003-06-20T07:37:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Wai Cheng for passing along this information: To improve your networking skill, I suggest reading The Savvy Networker by Caryl Rae Krannich and How to make hot cold calls by Steven J. Schwartz. Hope this helps.

And for sending me a copy of the Fast Company Article. The article made me realize that I have one more column to write. One I didn't want to write, decided not to write because it depresses me to think about it. But one that might be realistic for some of us who go through unemployment. Check back next week for the column. I still don't want to write it because it depresses me :-(

2003-06-12T12:30:00.000-07:00

My commenting system is down. I am using a service through www.klinkfamily.com/blogout/. Apparently they are so overloaded from popularity that their server is down. If anyone knows another one to recommend, please let me know! In the meantime, while I figure this out, comment using either the right side bar or send me an email directly.

I just heard from someone that this blog was mentioned in Fast Company. I'm pretty excited. I can't find the mention on-line so am going to run out and find a hard copy.

2003-06-09T14:30:00.000-07:00

I'm still getting comments from readers about this blog, so I'm keeping it up although I won't be updating it. And I'm willing to add links to other people's unemployment blogs. In fact, I just added one based on Homee's trials and tribulations of a young IT just graduating college. I graduated during an economic downturn, so I know what it's like to try to launch yourself. It's pretty scary. But I'm becoming more optimistic. Despite last month's stats that say we now have the highest unemployment in over a decade, I'm also seeing an upturn (not stable yet) in more leading economic indicators. Hopefully we are pulling ourselves out!

2003-05-29T09:36:00.000-07:00

I think this will be my last column for this blog. I had several reasons for doing a blog on unemployment. I wanted to purge the experience. It was not altogether a pleasant experience and I wanted to get the negative feelings out of me. I wanted to record my experience. In the near future, I'm hoping to study people who are between jobs--how they cope, what their strategies are, how they use their time off, and if and when they land another job, how that compares to the one they left. I'm one subject in my data collection and I wanted a record while I was still fresh. Maybe I'll get a book out of this experience! I wanted to learn about blogs. I kept this one fairly simple, just to learn the basics. But I already have a new one in mind--a group one that will be syndicated. It will be a next generation for me. And finally, I was hoping to help a few people with my experiences. For no advertising and staying low key, I have been thrilled at the number of hits my blog has received. And from the comments of a few of my readers, I believe I accomplished this goal as well. So my first blogging experience has been a success.

The topic of this week's blog is a gift to my readers. It was a huge gift to me and one I found invaluable during interviews. My counselor, Joanne M., at my outplacement firm, in helping me prepare for interviews, gave me a list of really good questions she has collected to ask during interviews. She gave me tons of questions, and I will give you a subset here--as I re-wrote them to apply to my situation. Remember, I was applying in the HR department for succession planning and leadership development positions. I didn't have time to ask all of these during my interviews. And some of the questions were answered during the course of the interview of course. But the list ensured that I had questions ready when the chance arose for me to ask them. In one case, I had the confidence enough to call back and set up another interview just so I could ask my questions. I was a top candidate for that job. I didn't get it because the organization reorganized... c'est la vie.

1. Is there a succession plan (or leadership development process) in place now? Describe it. How well is it working?
2. Why is the job open and for how long?
If a new position, who did the directive come from? Did s/he request it? Does s/he support the need for succession planning?
3. How does this job fit in with the new emphasis on ... (any new initiatives taking place on an organization wide level that is in company materials or the press,for example for one job: results based performance and the balanced scorecard you are using?)
4. What are the major responsibilities of this job? Does it include managing others? If so, how many? Does it include working closely with operating units? How much autonomy is there in this position? Would you say that the expectations for this job are more strategic and long term focused, more tactical and day-to-day, or a mixture of both?
5. What are your expectations of the position beyond the job description?
6. What qualifications do you expect the best candidate to have?
7. What would a successful incumbent be like? What characteristics are necessary to be a successful contributor.
8. What are the long and short term goals of this position? Of (this area) and HR as a whole?
9. What do management, employees, clients expect and want from the HR department, this area in particular?
10. What are the contributions you would expect me to make in the first 6-8 months?
11. How is the HR department structured? What is the headcount? What are the roles and positions?
12. Describe how this particular group works together.
13. Do the various HR departments also work in partnership with each other? For example, will I be working with folks from the leadership development program, performance management, and training to ensure that all are in alignment? (This job was for succession planning)
14. What other infrastructure departments support this department to help it accomplish its goals and overall how well do they work together?
15. Describe interdepartmental relationships between this department and other functional areas. Between this department and operations areas?
16. What opinion do the operating units have of the HR department?
17. Does this area have its own budget? Who manages it and how? What would my role be?
18. Do you have documented departmental policies and procedures?
19. Do you have a performance management system in place for HR folks? How does it work?
20. How is performance measured against the goals of the department and of the organization overall? How well is it meeting those goals?
21. How would my position be evaluated and who has input into the assessment?
22. How would you describe the culture/environment of this company and of HR?
23. To boss: What is your management/leadership style?
24. (If there is a new CEO). What is X's leadership philosophy? What does s/he think of this initiative? Will s/he continue to be supportive of it?

I'll leave the site up for a few more weeks. Maybe a few late comers will stumble upon it and findit helpful. In the meantime, if you want to reach me, please send an email directly to me.

Happy searching and good luck! The U.S economy looks like it is getting better so maybe we are over the hump?

2003-05-19T11:34:00.000-07:00

I didn't realize what a huge column I wrote last week. It's gorgeous out today, so this one will be short.

Where did my job interviews come from? I only had 6. Two came directly from networks (and I've gone on ad nauseum about networking in previous sites). Two came from search firms. Both of those search firms contacted me because they had received my name from networks. And two I got by applying through a website--a highly specialized website that specializes in I/O psychologists. And those same two were the ones I "almost got" an offer on and received an offer on.

I found search firms to be really difficult to work with. First, there aren't a whole lot of job openings in my area of expertise in the NYC metropolitan area. Most search professionals I knew were having a hard time surviving. Second, my background is not your typical background. It's an interesting,eclectic one, but when you are a search professional who wants, no, NEEDS to make a connection, there are a lot of candidates available who have a more low risk portfolio--they've worked in the business or done a similar job in another industry. But I tried to keep in touch with about 1/2 dozen head hunters anyway. I figured it couldn't hurt and it didn't take much time.

I have a mixed review of the use of the web. I found the larger, generalist websites to be useless for my purposes. I did apply to jobs off of them, but felt like I was sending my resume into a big black hole. I also applied directly to some company specific websites. Also a big black hole. I'm guessing several things are going on here. First, it's so easy to apply for jobs this way that everyone does it and companies are overwhelmed with the responses they get. I'm guessing that in many cases they aren't even able to look at all the resumes they get this way--but there are search engines coming out that are awesome and might be able to help with the sorting in the near future. Second, so many people are networking right now that it is easier to hire someone who is standing in front of you than to even look at the morass of resumes. Third, many of those jobs aren't real jobs. I had no idea companies did this, but they do. They may want to bring a specific someone in or up, but are required to do a full job search and this is how they do it. Alternatively, they may just want to keep tabs on who is out there--the stateof the market. Or worse, they may just be looking for information (I've had colleagues pour their time, heart, and soul into a lead only to find out later that the company/hirer was merely trolling for ideas. Fourth, the job doesn't come through--they requested to fill a position but don't get the budget. Fifth, it may be that positions and levels I was looking for just aren't on the web yet. I would still recommend looking for a job this way. But if you do find a job opening that was clearly written with you in mind, I would spend a lot of time finding out who the hiring manager is and contacting them directly.

Alternatively, I found the specialized websites to be great. My background was understood and appreciated by organizations and hiring managers who published jobs on these sites. And I think these are great sites to regularly check anyway just to get a pulse on what's going on in my field. If your field has specialized sites (usually as part of a professional group), I would recommend checking on this regularly regardless of your state of employment.

Where do most of you do your searching? What is your luck with them?

2003-05-14T06:51:00.000-07:00

I just read another NYT's article this morning about unemployment. This time it was about how difficult it is for college seniors to get jobs. Places that are "less sexy", not-for-profits, and organizations that can't pay well can be selective in who they hire right now. Graduate school applications are up. And I continue to read articles about how our recovery probably isn't enough to get us out of this employment slump. I talked to a networking buddy of mine who landed THE PERFECT JOB. She was thrilled. At least a few months ago she was. Now, she's scared. Her company declared chapter 11 and is starting to lay another round of people off. She had been out of a job for over a year and is not financially or emotionally prepared to go through another round. I talked to a middle aged woman yesterday as I stood volunteering to solicit votes for the candidate of my choice on the street corner. She's a techie and has been out of work for years. She doesn't EVER expect to work again (at least in that field). I was planning to talk today about how I prepare for interviews. But that's not much help when so many people can't even get an invitation to get interviewed. But I'm going to talk about the topic anyway because I have a funny story to tell.

I start by finding out everything I can about the company. That was actually much easier when I had access to the outplacement firm. They had subscriptions to all kinds of websites. It was much more difficult once I had to search on my own. And it was just plain difficult, period, to get information about private companies. So I often felt like I was lacking in my company knowledge. But what I could get, I read voraciously, and made sure I knew the information well enough to bring a juicy tidbit up here and there during the interview. I also used that information to form a few questions that I would plan to ask (which I will talk about in the next week or so). If I knew who I was going to talk to (which surprisingly often I didn't!!!), I would try to get information about them. Sometimes company websites had bios. Sometimes folks were "grooveable". If I shared any commonalitieis with the person, I would note that. If they were somehow known outside the company, I would note that. If I knew someone who knew that person, and I felt comfortable, I would call and talk to them. If I knew anyone who worked at the company (or even better, used to work there) I would talk to them. Once I even had the chance to sit in the lobby of a company and struck up a conversation with an employee. That was a goldmine of information. The key, I learned though, is to make sure you do your research on the RIGHT company...

The next thing I do is take apart the job description, piece by piece, to determine what exactly I want to concentrate on in the interview. What kind of person are they actually looking for? Where do I fit particularly well? And where do I have less of a fit. I want to make sure I zero in how my strengths meet their needs. I want to mention in passing detail how I have done other things that aren't as pivotal in the job description. And I want to be upfront about where I don't have experience in some areas they are looking for (never the main areas though) and why that won't be a problem (thinking of other things I've done that are similar for example).

Finally, I write, yes write, a several page document. This is for my eyes only. In school, I found that if I write something down, in detail, I'm more likely to remember at least the essence of it. No, I don't memorize this part,I just want it in my mind somewhere I can easily access it. In the document, I put the questions I know I will be asked.

There will ALWAYS be a question that is something like "Tell me about yourself". Guaranteed. I always have a nice pat answer that covers what I want to cover during my interview. I start with some summary statement that's basically my objective. But at the end of it, I tack on a statement that says, "As I look back over my career to date, three (or sometimes 4) themes stick out for me. And then I list, without going into detail, 3 or 4 themes about myself that I think particularly fit what they are looking for in the job. And I leave it at that.

Another question that often gets asked is "Why are you looking?" I actually have an exit statement for why I left my last company. It is short, pat, and completely benign about both myself and my previous company. I say it calmly, without any rancor or depression and keep my non-verbals upbeat. Then I move on. This is one of those questions that having a nice short answer and positive (or at least nuetral ) nonverbals and nothing else counts.

A question will come up about values, skills, strengths. This is the one to shine on. This is the one that I make sure I can talk on from now to the day before forever. I take each one of those themes I listed in the "Tell me about yourself" question and expound. In my interview preparation, I literally write stories (real examples that is) to demonstrate each one of those themes. And I practice them out loud to hear my own voice (very key, especially if you haven't told stories before). If the company is looking for someone who can handle project management, for example, I have implanted in my brain several "stories" about my project management. Details about how I can handle multiple, complex, large, long term projects that include many people with relative ease. I sometimes have 2 or 3 stories prepared about each one. If I have a difficulty that I had to overcome on my way to success, that goes in as well (think plotline and conflict in stories). And if I can refer to the new company in some way, I throw that in too--but it has to fit and be natural. Why stories and not bulletpoints? First, for me, it is easier to remember the story. And I like to tell stories. My energy and personality bubbles out (both strengths of mine anyway). Second, people like to listen to and remember stories better than a short list of skills with no examples attached. They will remember that yes, I have something that they were looking for, that I gave a behavioral example about it, in relative detail, and that I was successful at it, despite a difficulty or two. Third, It sure makes the interview go quickly, smoothly, and even enjoyably for both parties (no one likes a lot of uncomfortable silent space in an interview). Fourth, the interviewer will get a better feel for your "fit" (personality, style, etc.) to the organization. You definitely don't want to work for a place that doesn't "fit" you, at least I know that I'm miserable.

There might be a question about style. I have a few stories for that as well. Here, I include a story about how I discovered I needed to manage in a way that I was not accustomed to managing and how I changed my style, what I learned, and how it worked (successfully of course). I figure that the extent to which I can include certain strengths without actually mentioning them by name (in this case, flexibility and willingness and ability to learn) is good too.

There probably will be a question about limitations or weaknesses. This question is like the "why are you looking" question. It needs a pat, well thought out answer that is over quickly. And it shouldn't be too "weak", but instead developmental (why this particular job is a key and natural next step). I usually say something like (and it was true), "I have been able to do a variety of different aspects of ...(usually leadership development or succession planning)...but have never had the chance to bring all the pieces together into one. I'm really excited about this opportunity because I will be able to bring all the different pieces together plus have a chance to use my management skills to do so.

There might be one on future goals. I never really knew how to answer this one well. I usually said that the world was changing so fast that it was hard to know and I wanted to be open to a variety of opportunities. But I did know that I wanted to do something that takes my core skills to a broader and deeper level and hopefully add additional skills along the way. But I do think of what I do as a profession, not as a step in the organizational ladder. Others who want to move up might want to add that as well.

There MIGHT be a question on compensation during the first interview. I usually dodged that completely and truthfully by saying that I needed to better know the scope and scale of the job and whether I would be a good fit before discussing compensation, but that if it came to that, I was confident we could work something out. I don't know how to negotiate salary and frankly, no interview came to that anyway. The job offer I eventually accepted is unionized. There was little room for any kind of negotiation.

And usually, by this time, the interview had run its time or had gone overtime. So those were the basic questions I got. If I did get some others I wasn't expecting, I usually was on such a story telling roll that I just yanked another few (turning them a bit to fulfill the question) out of my bag of stories or retold a portion of one I already used. I rarely had a lot of time to ask my own questions (not good time management), but I had a list prepared anyway.

For each organization, I put together a packet of the organization materials I had gathered, my "written report" I had created including the list of questions I wanted to ask, and LOTS of extra resumes and lists of my publications and presentations. And I took this packet with me. It made me feel comfortable to have all my "stuff" at my fingertips although I would have died of embarassment if anyone saw my "written report". I also, if possible, scoped the place out before hand so I would smoothly know where to go with no glitches.

So I actually enjoyed the interviewing process. Except for one that didn't go so well. I got the lead through one of my networks. And landed the interview. I prepared intensely for the interview--exploring the company in depth because there was a lot of information about it. The company was an international recognized company that consisted of a holding company, and a bunch of entities that it owned, one of which had the same name as the holding company. I spent my time and effort on the holding company, and glossed over the other companies, just remembering enough to sound like I knew they existed. And I confidently went to my interview. Within the first few minutes, I mentioned something about the new CEO and the interviewer said a different name than I expected, I blurted out, "I thought X was the new CEO?" And the interviewer said "oh, that's for the holding company." I was prepared for the wrong company. GULP. The rest of the interview proceeded the same way. Every time I opened my mouth, frogs, toads, and salamanders came out rather than pearls, diamonds, rubies, and emeralds. I tripped over my tongue. Even when something came out smoothly, it was the wrong answer (for example, in the goals statement, I gave my usual answer and they were looking for someone who wanted to move up in the organization). At the end, I casually mentioned that I also liked to write and gave the interviewer the address of the website my husband and I keep together on our travels (now why the heck did I say that, kick myself in the butt!). I felt like a total loser dork. I walked out exhausted, confident I could write that company off... and a little giggly.

Well, much to my surprise, they called me in for round two. So you never know. Sometimes things go perfectly and you walk out confident that the job is yours and you never hear a thing again. And sometimes you walk out knowing you screwed that one up royally and for some reason you get another chance. I ultimately canceled the second interview because I received another completely different and non-comparable job offer that I accepted. But I will always wonder at least a little, what I missed on that path.

2003-05-07T09:02:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago I woke up feeling odd. I couldn't put a name to it. Then I realized that I was happy. It had been so long since I could say I was happy, I didn't even recognize the emotion. So today I want to talk about the toll being in a poor fitting job, then being unemployed takes on a person. Or at least the toll it took on me.

I'm generally a happy-ish person. I usually identify myself as a cynical optimist. A paradox, I know. When I think and talk, I can come across as pretty cynical, but combined with my generally upbeat personality, it makes for an interesting combination. I haven't been that way for a long time.

I was never happy in my past job. Never upbeat. I couldn't be myself, for one thing. I was hired for a certain set of skills that I am particualry strong in--curious, visionary, creative, forthright, questioning, quickness in learning, and my cutting edge knowledge of my field. But once in the job, those very skills were considered weaknesses. And the skills I needed were undeveloped so were weaknesses. I heard daily how I was doing this wrong and that wrong, all the feedback I got was negative. Even the positive feedback had that "but" component. There were no formal policies and procedures--which the company was proud about. But they were all informal and ingrained--I was expected to guess. Given my creativity, I could come up with thousands of scenarios--none of which were "right" because they weren't the way it was done around here. I was told I was too sensitive and that I came across as too young and naive. I spent everyday feeling bad about who I was and trying to please. I had gone from being a golden girl in my previous position to a mound of shit. Outside of work, I was dealing with moving to a new part of the country, a poor economy and a house that wouldn't sell, 9/11, and developing a daily relationship with a guy I was to marry. I was anxious and depressed. I couldn't sleep, I lost weight, I gained weight, I got a cold once a month. After a while, I forgot what it was like to be "me". This was the real me, the new me.

I was relieved when I was laid off. Thrilled. On the one hand that is. But on the other, it hit hard. I AM sensitive and I was still reeling from the mirror that this company had held up to me and said "this is you". I didn't recognize that failure in the mirror, but when the mirror is held up long enough (less than a year!) it starts to look familiar. So I entered the job market frightened--who would hire me? I had no good skills to offer and I was a failure. To be upbeat and positive felt phony.

As I slowly started to pull all my job search "stuff" together, I began to remember that I did have some strengths. And now I was much more aware of my weaknesses. And I was also aware that strengths could be weaknesses in the wrong setting. But in this job market, positions are few and far between. There weren't a lot of jobs out there and the few that I found weren't exactly a good fit with my strengths. Despite the fact that I was not getting the jobs I was getting good feedback from some of the folks I was talking to (I wasn't getting any feedback from others, so I never really got any negative feedback). And as I have said previously, people were eager to meet with me, and gave me tons of their time. Slowly my view of myself was turning around. I was still scared--no jobs in sight, but the real me was beginning to emerge. When I looked into my own mirror, I didn't see either a golden girl or a pile of shit. What I saw was still being carved out, but it was certainly a positive, yet balanced image.

As horrible as it seems, I think the process of being unemployed, at least for me, was healing or at least let me begin the healing process from my past position. But I was lucky--I had good outside support so didn't have to worry about landing myself or my family out on the street. And then life couldn't get even better. I was offered a position as a professor at a local state university--these folks went after me! Weakness, failure, me. They wanted me, I was their top choice exactly as I was. And the job looked like the perfect fit as well from my end. I would have been attracted to them regardless. They offered me the position, I accepted, and even better, it didn't start for 8 more months. I could enjoy some time off.

Once I spread the news that I had accepted this new position, things continued to slide into place. I have already started "working" although I am not receiving any money. But I'm loving it. One of the professors who wrote me a letter of recommendation, the moment I told him I had accepted a position, asked me to write a book with him. So I am writing a book. Along with another professor, I have just submitted a paper for review and possible publication at an academic journal (I'll need these to get tenure). I have another paper underway with a consultant mentor of mine. I will hopefully work with the faculty I will be joining to do a piece of research--starting this summer. I was asked to become editor of a section of one of the top journals in my field (I haven't decided whether I will take it or not, but am completely honored), and the professor who chaired my dissertation committee, a past mentor of mine, wants to get together to discuss research ideas to pursue together.

I'm back to being upbeat. I like to get out of bed in the morning. I no longer feel like I have to watch myself so closely, what I'm doing naturally is "right". I no longer feel like a phony. I can relax. I can be me and that me is good. Now of course, once the reality of the job starts in the fall (think academic politics, etc), I'm sure that this feeling will normalize into something more neutral. But at the moment, I'm enjoying the feeling of being happy. Remember happy?

And I guess that's the lesson I learned. A bad job fit, for me, pervades my whole life, my whole psyche. I can't do it. I can't survive for long. A good job fit also pervades my whole life, my whole psyche. It was a blessing I was laid off. It was a blessing I have had a whole lot of time off to recover. I think I will come out of this situation with a more balanced view of my self, some new skills, and more compassion for others.

Are other unemployed people reading this blog learning similar things about themselves? Is there a silver lining to this unemployment cloud?

2003-04-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

My marketing plan. I loved using my marketing plan, it was so handy. I used it mostly for networking meetings, even handing it over to those I was networking with if the meeting was awkward in any way. It helped me break the ice. And it helped those people I was networking with who didn't have a clue how to help me get oriented. As I said in earlier blogs, many people do want to help. But they aren't sure how. I found that the marketing plan gave them something tangible that they could work from.

I learned about marketing plans through my outplacement services. It is all part of learning to think of looking for a job as marketing myself. And it was one of those tools that I really found useful, not hokey, even from the very beginning. I could feel "real" using it.

I started out my marketing plan with my objective. Here I included a list of the type of common job titles that would be of the type and level I was looking for. I put down "Manager or Director of Succession Planning, Leadership Development, Organizational Development, or Talent Management". I figured in larger companies I would probably be better suited to a manager level and in smaller companies I could be a director, like I had been in my previous company.

Next I put down my qualifications. I bullet pointed my main ones. I wasn't exhaustive here, concentrating on the biggies--the ones I wanted the job to be about. I listed 7, which felt right to me. I included some of my better personalit traits (Enthusiastic, straightfoward, and results oriented with excellent communication skills) and my degree as the bottom two of the list.

Third, I put down my target locations. I originally had New York metropolitan area, northern New Jersey, and possible relocation to Washington, D.C. After having the opportunity to interview in D.C. and discovering that my husband really wouldn't consider moving there at this time (despite the fact that he originally said he would), I took D.C. off.

Fourth, I put down the organization characteristics I was looking for. I was interested in a mid to large sized international organization, preferably a recognized leader within its industry, that was committed to staff development (since that is what I wanted to do!). And I wanted it to be mission based or have a strong service orientation, sonce that is a strong value of mine. I gave a few examples to the types of organizations these might include, such as NGOs, government, foundations, research institutions, large organizations with sophisticated succession planning/talent management systems in place, and mid sized organizations that were putting them into place with good support from upper management.

For my next section, I bullet pointed some things I was interested in, in terms of culture: creative, cutting edge, and open to change; professional; teamwork; and an international or diverse workforce.

Of course, there is no organization in the world that fit these specs exactly. So finally, I just included a list of organizations that I was interested in finding out more about and networking in.

People could look at the plan. Usually it helped spark an idea for them regarding organizations I might want to explore as well as people I might talk to next. It made the networking easier.

Finally, despite the dire news on the front page of the NYTs over the weekend on the state of unemployment, I am seeing a trend towards more optimistic financial news. I know unemployment is a lagging indicator, so my fingers are crossed that we will see some help in this regard shortly...

2003-04-21T08:45:00.000-07:00

I heard from Meika who says he doesn't have a network. Starting a network from scratch is super hard work. But worth it, I think.

First, I would like to challenge anyone who says they don't have a network. You might have to start with really "far away" networks. Let EVERYONE you know that you are looking for a job, what you are looking for, and even where you are looking if you have any organizations in mind. Mom, dad, spouses, friends, doctors, dentists, vets, the guy you buy coffee from, the woman next to you on the bus, who ever you can strike up a conversation with. Carry your business card (I ran mine off the computer) where ever you go. While I never got so lucky, I've heard antidotes of people getting job leads through some really odd places--you never know who knows whom or has heard what.

Second, join professional organizations in your line of work. I drew names (blind) off one professional organization membership list that I'm a member of and contacted those folks. I actually ended up having face-to-face or phone meetings with a good number of them. I'm now good buddies with a woman from that organization and she and I are looking for free-lancing work together (and she's better connected, creative, and more experienced at free lancing than myself), plus she's become a friend. I attended a professional meeting that I heard about by one of my husband's co-worker's wives. She introduced me around, I met a woman, and she asked ME to come in and interview at her company. Along the same lines as professional organizations are alumni networks. I connected with my undergraduate school's alumni network. I must admit I never called anyone off of it. I did explore it but didn't see any connections that I wanted to pursue. I am well connected with my graduate department's alumni and got a lot of networking and leads through that. But the school I attended for my graduate work charges to get on that alumni network. I didn't join--putting that off to pursue in case nothing else netted me anything.

Third, join networking groups. There are groups out there just for networking purposes. I know that NYC's chamber of commerce has regular networking meetings. I only went to one and must admit I was pretty overwhelmed at the prospect of talking to all these strangers, alone. So if you can take a buddy to help, maybe that would make things easier. There are also networking groups for unemployed folks. Right now, there are TONS of these. I went to one that specialized in human resources and actually got a few networks through this group. I must admit I didn't utilize this option as much as I could have. But I was meeting people through other venues so figured I would slack off here. But if you are just starting, at least it's good practice to get your butt out the door and meeting people face-to-face.

Finally, and the hardest, call people you would love to introduce yourself to, that you have NO connection too. At one of the big financial firms (who was laying people off in droves at the time), was a chief learning officer I wanted to meet. He made a big name for himself at a huge manufacturing firm doing really great stuff as a CLO. Before that, he was an academic and wrote one of my favorite articles of all times. I sent him an email asking if I could meet with him. I tried to call him but his secretary wouldn't even take a message. How was I going to get a hold of this guy? He emailed me back, himself!!! I met with him, we had a nice chat, he forwarded a few job leads to me and gave me the name of some folks to extend my network. It probably wasn't my "richest" network. But I was so proud of myself that I'm still patting myself on the back. So aim high! You never know.

And no excuses. Think about it from the hiring manager's perspective. During these times when there are way more talented people than jobs, having people "fall in your lap" is a lot easier than sifting through a billion resumes off the internet--even if you advertised the job on the internet. And it's a lot cheaper than search firms. In fact, search firms are having a hard time because that's exactly what hiring managers are doing. They don't need to hire a search firm and pay the extra money. Networking may be the only way to find a job right now. Unlike a few years ago when you COULD just send your resume via the internet and actually expect to find a job.

My networking meetings last week went well. Nona had some ideas about others she would like to talk to about me. I might get some free lancing through it. Phil, we had more of a social lunch. He's top notch, well connected, and a really fun guy. I can network and have a lot of fun, too! And it energized me enought that I contacted a handful of folks on my list just to check in and say hi. They all wrote back.

Has anyone started a network from scratch? Does anyone have stories they want to share?

2003-04-15T05:30:00.000-07:00

I thought this was an interesting discussion!

http://slashdot.org/articles/02/12/21/1931207.shtml?tid=99

Until next week.

2003-04-14T10:05:00.000-07:00

I figured I would talk about networking this week since I am going on two networking meetings. I'm meeting Nona for coffee on Weds. Nona is a "fourth generation" network. My counselor at my outplacement firm suggested I talk to Pat who is well connected in my field. He was great, no job, but he gave me tons of names of others to network with. One of those was Jaye, the owner of her own consulting firm. One of the people she partners with is Nona, who owns a firm in Chicago that does work in my area of expertise. She has clients and connections in the New York metropolitan area and comes out here frequently. I'm meeting Phil for lunch on Thurs. He is an I/O Psychologist who I met through a professional association I am a member of. He remembered me form a presentation I had done at that professional association, so introduced himself to me at my first meeting as a member. He's had great advice and has passed along search firms, job openings, and names of others I might network with as well. We've kept in touch through the meetings and periodic lunches.

My jobs in the past came through networking. I established a network at the first place I worked...years before I was on the job market. But I knew I wanted to work there. I got my last job by calling a network who happened to own a consulting firm. It felt so natural when I did it before. But it felt so odd for me to do it this time. But network I did.

One of the first things my outplacement had me do was make a list of ALL the people I might approach and let them know I was looking for a job. They said to come up with about 100 names. I came up with 50. Then I went through my alumni list from my graduate school and added folks I knew but never really kept in touch with. Then I went through the professional association member list and picked out some more names of people I had never heard of but who might be willing to talk to me as I was a member.

But it was excrutiating to even come up with the list. Excuse 1, I was new to the area. Reality 1, I'm terrible at networking. It never dawned on me that I should keep in touch with folks. Heck, some of them I never wanted to see again. Excuse 2, I am shy and didn't want to bother any hardworking person. Reality 2, I was very embarrassed to admit I didn't have a job.

I sent out a bunch of emails to people on the list. I think EVERYONE responded. Some just wished me good luck and to keep them posted on my progress. Some sent me numbers of search firm professionals they knew, and started passing my name on to those same search firms as they heard of jobs. A majority agreed to meet me, either by phone or face-to-face. Some set aside up to an hour of their time, during their work day, to talk with me. I was blown away by everyone's help. I came to the conclusion that folks out there have been laid off themselves in the past, personally know someone who is laid off now, and/or know they will be laid off in the future.

I never asked for a job in these meetings. I explained that I was new to the area and was using the opportunity of my time off to meet people in the area and find out what they and their companies were doing, and if they knew of any one or any company that was looking for someone to help out in the area of leadership succession and development. Once I started, I really enjoyed it too. But each Monday, picking up the phone for the first time was agonizing. I'm an extrovert too. How on earth could an introvert do this?

How did I prepare? First, I sent them a resume ahead of time "just so they would have some idea of who I was". Sometimes, I sent the resume in an introductory email, sometimes I sent it later, depending upon the situation. Second, I prepared a marketing plan (I'll talk about that in another blog, but this sure was a big ice-breaking help!). Third, I explored everything I could about the company, mostly internet searches. And fourth, I came up with a list of questions. These were usually the same, but I re-prepared them each time. It helped me feel a sense of control. My questions were typically what they thought about the job market in the New York Metro area, what was going on in their own company and other companies that they knew about in leader succession and development, if they knew of other folks or companies I should be talking to, and in return for this meeting, what I could do for them.

The meetings ranged from 20 minutes to over an hour. I always tried to keep the meetings short, but people were thrilled to talk. They toured me through their facilities and spent long lunch hours with me. But unfortunately they all pretty much agreed that the economy in New York was in the pits, that no one was hiring in my area (one guy said that prior to 9/11 there were hundreds of job postings on a professional web site I searching on, but now there were less than a dozen), and that given my level and area of expertise, I should expect to take a year or longer to find a job (that was a hard pill to swallow). They gave me advice and many others to talk to. They passed my name on to head hunters and passed job opportunities on to me. I always sent a thank you email. Always, always, always. If they gave me names of others, I always let them know when I contacted those folks, how the meeting went, and thanked them again. By January, I was getting "repeat" names (oh you really should talk to so-and-so, and I had already spoken to them through others). By January, a search firm professional jokingly laughed that I was so well connected that she received my name from numerous folks whether the job was at all related to my area of expertise or not.

I came to the conclusion that folks were very invested in helping me find a job. I know from being "networked with" by others, that my first instinct is to help get this person a good job. While I expected that others would respond to my "begging" with "euw, get away from me you stinking loser", I was totally wrong--a huge majority went out of their way to help any way they could. Although no job came out of the experience, I must admit it was one of the richest professional experiences I have ever had. And I am ready to return the favor (which is part of the reason for this blog).

If you are employed, I would recommend networking. A little note here and there is enough. Think of EVERYONE as a potential future network (so don't burn ANY bridges!!!) If you are looking for a job, I would recommend that this should be the MAJORITY of what you do. I made at least 5 new calls/emails a week (my network is now HUGE) and tried to have 1 or 2 meetings per week. The idea is to get the word out that you are looking (and what kinds of jobs you are looking for), target companies who you would like to work for and ask your contacts if anyone they know works there (whether in your field or not), get into the company, then finally get before a hiring manager (whether they have an open position or not). Supposedly most jobs now-a-days come through networking.

I just motivated myself to send a little "hi, thinking of you" email to a bunch of folks on my network list. I'm not not letting this slide again!

Let me know your network stories--successes, failures, funny happenings, etc.

And thanks everyone for responding to this blog. I'm hearing some great stuff from folks out there.

2003-04-07T10:53:00.000-07:00

I need to stop reading the paper. Between the war, the economy, and the state of unemployment, I keep getting depressed. In Bob Herbert's op-ed today in the New York Times, he says "The U. S. is hemorrhaging jobs. 108,000 more jobs were lost in March. 2.4 million jobs have vanished in the last 2 years." The reason he says the jobless rate stays at a steady 5.8% (which doesn't sound too bad) is that people are so discouraged they have stopped looking for work. He says that there are 5 million in the discouraged category. Then there was an article in the job market section of the NYTs yesterday that emphasizes what the economic indicators miss. There is a "Fordham Index" that looks at a whole bunch of social indicators--including things like infant mortality, child poverty, and health insurance coverage--and turns them into one index. This social health index used to keep pace with economic progress, but hasn't done so since 1976!!! So while the gross domestic product may go up, average wages (of those working) have gone down. To top it off, in another section of yesterday's paper, articles talked about the ludicrously high CEO salaries. While the rich get richer, the middle class and the poor get poorer.

So I thought I would talk today about a book I read called "Losing your job--reclaiming your soul: Stories of resilience, renewal, and hope" by M.L. Pulley. I worked with Mary Lynn after she wrote the book. She's a very cool person and was fired, like, 3 times, in her 20s, so draws from her own experience as well of that of others. She wrote about the downsizings in the 1980s and 1990s, but it feels like she is talking about today (on the upside, it reminds us that we seem to go through or survive this every 10 years!). And she collected data on people who had lost their jobs but seemed to learn from their job experience and change their perspectives as a result--whether they were re-employed or not. She called this "resilience--the ability to bounce back from adversity... Resilient people have an inner life force that allows them to spring back and carry on."

Mary Lynn outlines the steps resilient people go through during their actual layoff. First, many people say they saw it coming or that they weren't too happy about their jobs or their companies in the last several months (or years) either. Despite that, many were still shocked and felt betrayed when the layoff did happen. Others felt relief right away. Many of the resilient people who were at first shocked and betrayed, also soon came to feel relief. And in some cases, people went through a pretty dark time before feeling relief. In retrospect, I think I felt relief and and dark (I know, paradoxical). But I think the dark time was the result of failing at my job, then really failing and getting laid off--all new to a person who had rarely failed, and never quite so publically before. I wasn't thrilled with the situation and I was scared about my future, but I could sleep through the night for the first time in a long time. And in this job market, it was hard for me not to go into other "dark times". I just tried to have something to do each day--whether it was planned job search activities or planned fun. Many people take time off, a retreat or something, to really re-connect with who they are and what they want out of life. It took me a while before I could do this. Like 6 months, and only for a few days here and there. I ended up shifting my job search strategies and got a job offer that is in a place that is a much better fit for me. Finally, resilient people move forward rather than dwelling on the past. Although I am not working, I'm already working at my new job. I have quite a few research and writing projects under way that I am using new position as my affiliation. I'm not getting paid but I feel like I'm settling in (let's hope that the job turns into reality--you never know in this day and age!).

Finally, Mary Lynn looks at what helps people really use their job loss to transform themselves. She suggests that those with good relationships (including those who just made sure they sought out others), those who were able to create a fluid and multidimensional sense of who they were (beyond their professional identity), and those with faith, hope, and imagination that there was some purpose for this, ultimately changed their assumptions about their self and about the meaning of work. The experience enrichens them, they don't stay the same, nor do they go "down" or get bitter. The resilient people may not have come out of the situation with a higher paying job, but they usually ended up in a "better" place.

I'm glad I re-read the book for this blog. It's much more uplifting than the newspaper. So go to your library and check the book out. Mary Lynn is a good writer, so it's an enjoyable and fast read.

2003-04-02T13:05:00.000-08:00

I'm actually doing a mid week blog. And non job search related. But I wanted to thank Roberta, a fellow unemployed who is working on her own blog (I'll add a link as soon as she goes public). She sent me the link for a pretty good, and free, comments site: http://www.klinkfamily.com/blogout/blogout.html I popped it right in and already have 2 comments (yay!). Roberta also sent me to another unemployment blog that I laughed all the way through. I think a good laugh is so important while unemployed in a bad market, during a war, blah, blah, blah. The link is OddTodd and is on the right.

2003-03-31T10:32:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Meika who suggested that I add a comments section to each topic I write about (anyone have suggestions on how to do this, I'd love to incorporate a separate comments section into each blog update!). Thanks to Paula who let me know that my "slick statement" is not anal!

Although I thought I already knew a lot about how to look for a job, I had never thought in terms of a "brand". I learned at my outplacement firm that I am presenting "Brand Me" to the public. I learned that it helps to think of yourself as a brand and package everything you present to the public as marketing that brand (see for example an old Fast company article: http://www.fastcompany.com/brandyou/index.html ). Everything you present: your resume/CV, your business card, your stationary, your cover letters and thank you letters, what you say to others, and I'd like to add, even how you dress. Interestingly, you are allowed to have more than one brand. I found I needed a corporate brand, a nonprofit brand, and an academic brand during my job search (I always felt like a fake when I was in my corporate brand mode, but it was one I spent most of my time in).

I updated my resume with brand me in mind. I always keep my combination CV/resume up to date and ready to use at a moments notice. But I relearned and added to what I already knew in preparation for my job search. I have a slightly out-of-date copy on my website: www.valeriesessa.com. This one is pretty comprehensive. But I learned that for each job, I needed to be prepared to change my resume around a lot. In general, my resume has my positioning statement on it as a sort of summary statement. Then I have the usual reverse chronology of jobs. This part is probably the hardest to write. I wrote a general summary of the job (how do you do that when you've been in the same, but shifting, position for many years?) and then listed results based accomplishments as bullets...only some of my bullets aren't too results based. I found that really hard to do. These could be changed around for each job I applied for. Then I added my education and some skills at the end. I learned that 2 pages is a great length. Except when it isn't. I learned that adding PhD to my name attracted some people and scared others away. I learned that adding my publications and presentations was a big interest to some folks, others thought it made me sound too academic, and it scared others off completely (I was paid to publish and present, I originally thought it showed results, silly me). I learned that some liked to see my awards and community achievements, while others thought it was too much. Basically it was all a crapshoot who I would impress and who I wouldn't. In terms of brand though, I liked my resume better when it had the extra stuff on--it felt more like the me I wanted people to see.

Thank god for the fact that most of us have ready access to high quality personal printers. When I graduated from college, I remember buddies of mine agonizing for hours/days over a resume, then having a couple hundred run off on bond paper for a huge some of money. Now we just do it ourselves. I ran my resumes off one or two at a time (which can get confusing if you don't remember exactly which resume you sent to which company). I ran my business cards off a page or two at a time unless I was going to a big networking event (I stayed pretty plain here, no color or anything). I never really created stationary, but I did try to make my letters look just a little bit more original than a plain business memo.

And my dress? Again, I chose the conservative route, I wanted my qualifications to stand out more than my appearance. A fitted black dress with a jacket, black sheer hose, and black leather pumps. Sometimes I would button the jacket all the way up and flip the collar up (looked asian that way). And sometimes I wore it with pearls.
That's about all I did for brand me. I guess the brand I was trying to get across was qualified, expert, professional, conservative but a bit original. Has anyone done anything more out there in terms of branding yourself? How is it working?

2003-03-24T11:16:00.000-08:00

Who am I in the working world? What slick, but thorough statement could I make about myself, in a cocktail party, during an elevator ride, when I introduced myself to networks, in answer to any question that resembled: "Tell me about yourself?" I discovered it's really important to have ne of these statements, sitting comfortably on your tongue, ready to roll out on a moments notice without any thought.

I started by identifying all my accomplishments in my different jobs. I also thought about my accomplishments in my volunteer work and in my school work. I found that this takes a long time, because accomplishments aren't a job description, they are what you have done as a result of doing your job. In fact, I kept thinking of more and more, especially as I talked with different people who worked with me on different components of my job. Some things thta might get the ball rolling--have you won any awards or bonuses or promotions? Have you received any big compliments around something you did? What are you particularly proud of?

I also listed my skills. There are a lot of skills that I have as a result of my training. Those were the easiest to think of. But I realized that I had some skills that I never appreciated when I looked through my accomplishments. In my accomplishments, I realized that I have created and introduced new systems and procedures and been involved with or directly responsible for a number of start ups. I had never thought of myself as being skilled at the visioning, persuasion, energy, creativity, etc., that is necessary to put new things in place. I could add another skill to my list! Although I didn't have a chance to use it much, one boss told me that my people management skills were a hiddent talent. I put that down too. So think "hard skills", "soft skills", and look for skills that are outside your usual description of yourself.

I also thought long and hard about my personal characteristics and values. Since I had worked at a place that did a lot of leadership development work, I already had more data along those lines about myself than I knew what to do with. I also had the opportunity to take an interest and skills inventory. And I took more freebies on the web (just take these with a grain of salt, because you don't know if they are valid and reliable. One I like that is based on high quality research is www.authentichappiness.com, particularly the VIA signature strengths inventory). I tried to make a list of these, but found that's really hard to do. There are so many ways you can go. But it was/is a learning experience. Just some highlights. I'm extroverted, innovative, open-minded, a bit neurotic in stressful situations, not very organized. I'm big picture (as opposed to detail) and intuitive oriented and tend to be driven by my thoughts more than my emotions (which sometimes comes across as not being very nice. I'm a complex, non-linear thinker. I like independence and autonomy on my job accompanied with challenge. I also like worthwhile issues. But I also value balance in my life--work is only part of what I do.

Finally, I thought about what I really liked to do. What got me excited in my jobs. What got me in a "state of flow" so that I didn't notice the time flying by. And conversely what did I hate doing and what exhausted me. Those were easy, routine stuff and details kill me.

Finally, I took all this information and tried to categorize it. Who am I in the world of work? I was actually a much more rounded person than I had ever appreciated. Not to mention accomplished! Once I came up with some categories, I came up with one or two stories that I could tell about each one. Stories are easier for me to remember than details and bullet points. Also, they make interviews more meaningful and fun. Anything to add fun to this situation!

Okay, now I had to distill this down to a short paragraph. This is what I came up with. I am an experienced Leadership Selection and Development Professional with expertise in executive selection/succession planning and the design, development, and implementation of organizational systems and policies to support the movement of talent throughout an organization. I have the proven ability to design and implement innovative business initiatives that support long term business goals. I have experience with Fortune 500, not-for profit, and small entrepreneurial firms. My strengths include conceptualizing systems, communicating, and influencing people through action learning, team building, and development.

To be honest, this never came out smoothly and naturally. I sounded like a personality-less automaton. I think this is why my interviews got off to a slow start. But it was hepful in so many different ways for me to do this.

Do others of you do anything like this? Or am I just anal:-)

2003-03-18T13:51:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Virginia for responding to my query of how she survived her layoff. While she was on unemployment, she did volunteer work. It gave her time to think about what she really wanted to do next rather than throwing herself straight into a job search. She ultimately dropped out of public relations and started her own gift shop!

And on to my news of the week, heck of the year! I have officially accepted a position as Professor of Industrial and Organizational Psychology, starting in September. I am very excited. I think this will be a much better fit for me in terms of skills and personal preferences than the corporate america positions I was pursuing. I took a pretty hefty pay cut to do this. But what price a 9 month year, more freedom, and independence? What price a chance to be paid to think, to further knowledge, rather than run run run with my head down, no questions asked? What price a job in this time period? The very time when America is declaring war on Iraq? On the downside, politics are what has kept me out of academics thus far, they can get pretty nasty with a bunch of prima donna eggheads. But this department didn't sound as bad as some I've been privy too. And it won't hurt me to learn how to be more tactful.

Anyway, I plan to keep up this website, and would like to make it more interactive (any ideas are welcome). I've been wanting to write down my search tips for finding a job, anyway. Now I can really critique them in terms of what worked and what didn't. One tidbit of information I've come across. The average unemployed person spends 5 hours a week looking for a job. I regularly spent between 20 and 30. Those who spend 40 or more are more likely to find a job sooner (or die trying, I couldn't maintain that sort of schedule).

The first thing I did was try to get a handle on the current state of my profession when I got laid off. I learned so much. And none of it good. First, since I was in New York City,business capital of the free world, I figured everyone knew what an Industrial and Organizational Psychologist was. WRONG. I scared many HR people off and confused the rest, so I took that title and my PhD off my resume (IO psychologists pretty much developed HR). I also found out, via a professional association, that many IO psychologists in the area have left corporate america and either joined consulting firms or freelance. I wanted to work in corporate america not a consulting firm. Large companies in NYC were laying off people, those doing my sort of work were hunkering down, working long hours, and hoping no one noticed them. And what they were doing was pretty standard stuff, nothing cutting edge. And academics? Although I didn't pursue this to begin with, there is only 1 PhD department in IO psychology in Manhattan. There are none in NJ. None of this bode well for my search. This information let me know that 1. My search was going to be long and hard. 2. My search would include an educational component, what is an IO psychologist and why hire one? and 3. Perhaps I should change my career since my skills were obviously not overly welcome at the moment. I agonized over 3 for quite a while (including opening a Tea Shoppe and being a writer, both fantasies of mine). But what it boiled down to was I still resonate to this field. I was not done with it yet so planned to stick the search out.

My next step was to figure out who I was in the working world. You know, that smooth cocktail hour or elevator speech in answer to the question: What do you do?. Given the dismal state of affairs in business in general and in my field specifically. Given that no one knew what I was to begin with. I needed something snazzy. I'll talk about that next week.

2003-03-10T10:11:00.000-08:00

I was going to go over some of the search strategies that I've been using this week. But I decided at the last minute to talk about something else. I sent my last unemployment check in today. I am not expecting another extension--I already qualified for one. Now, I have had an "outgo" that was larger than my income for the many years it took me to get through school (the usual 4 years of college plus 7 years of graduate school) and I'm still paying that off. But this is the first time I haven't had any income at all since early high school. My strong protestant work ethic is going nuts. I feel weird. Like I'm not a good citizen or something. Like there is something wrong with me. Like I'm a loser. And I worry about the effects of low and no salary on my long term social security history (making an assumption that it will still be around when I retire).

I'm lucky though. My move to this part of the country cost me a lot. My employer had picked up some of it, but it turned out that my house needed work. And it didn't sell for a whole year due to the downturn in the housing market in the south. I was paying for my mortgage, outrageous short term rent for a troll hole under a bridge, a higher cost of living, and home repairs. I went into credit card debt for the first time in my life. I hated that feeling so I scrimped and got that paid off about a month before I got laid off (thank god). A few weeks before getting laid off, I got married. So I'm not in this alone. My husband has taken 2 cuts in income (and is making the least he's made in 8 years) to stay employed. At least he has an income that we can learn to live on, at least for the time being. And he has health insurance. The day I got laid off, I heard from my real estate agent. I had an offer on my house. So I got that off my list of worries 2 months later. And I got a little cash out of it that I was able to put into savings. The weekend after I got laid off, I HAD planned to go car shopping. Of course, I didn't go and am eking more life out of my 10 year old car. The "innards" are fine, but it looks like a leperous beater (poor thing didn't take well to northern winters and lost all it's paint).

I feel like the universe aligned to make my lay off as "easy" as possible--my expenses are about as low as possible living in the Northeast of the United States of America and except for one more year of student loans, I am debt free. My husband couldn't be more supportive despite the fact that OUR income is way less than what HIS was before he took on the responsibility of an unexpectedly unemployed wife. I can take my time to find the right job. Hell, ANY job. But I know that my circumstances are unusual.

So I guess this week's entry is more of a question for the people who are reading this--especially those who have been out for than 6 months. How are you surviving? How are you staying off the streets? Especially if you have dependents... Please let me know in the comments section or by sending me an email. I'll publish any good tips that I get...

2003-03-03T11:35:00.000-08:00

Before I start with this week's passage, I've been doing some exploring on the internet. There are a lot of folks out there busy being unemployed--as long or longer than myself. Not that I wish this on anyone, but I feel like I'm in really good company. I'm putting good links, as I find them, on this page. Thanks to Martin (Where the Hell Did My Job Go) for looking at my site and making some good suggestions. If you know a good site I should link, or would like me to link to your site, let me know!

When I left my job last spring, I was actually optimistic. That very week, I had seen THE PERFECT JOB posting on the web for an organization that I had been wanting to work for for several years but couldn't figure out how to "get in" to the organization and network, etc. I had discovered the organization while I was in my job previous to the one I got laid off from. Although I loved that job, I used to read the job postings in the Economist and dream--some of them sound so exotic. I saw the organization, wrote the website on my hand, and rushed back to my computer to check out the website. The organization is called the United Nations Development Program (UNDP). And I wanted to work there.

I had seen a job posting for the same position earlier that spring, but didn't respond. I was determined to make the job I was in work--I had made a promise to stay a year or two and I am a woman of my word. UNDP reposted the position several months later--apparently they hadn't been able to fill it. It was written for me and this time I was going to apply for it. I sent in my resume to the general posting email and waited. And waited. I got on to the web and found out who the head of the department was and sent my resume and cover letter directly to him. And waited and waited. Then I heard from the guy and was invited in for an interview. I was ecstatic.

I had to fill out this long form--including my height and weight--odd, but the UN and it's organizations don't have to abide by US laws as it is a "NonGovernmental Organization" (NGO). And the interview--how bizarre. It was to be a panel interview--good practice--but they wouldn't tell me who I was to interview with. I had to walk in blind--I usually do due diligence on the organization AND the people. Even more bizarre, I had to write a written essay, topic not given. I found this part to be a little intimidating as well as belittling. I'm midcareer--I can see it for early/beginning career, but a writing test for this level? I took a wild guess at the writing assignment--the job was for succession planning, and the day before I practiced by writing everything I knew about succession planning and putting it into a logical neat order. The day of the interview, I arrived a bit early and sat in the lobby and people watched, I even struck up a conversation with a young intern and added "insider" knowledge to the slue of data I had already gathered about the organization.

The interview started out stiff. I was nervous. Who were these people? Once I warmed up, I was myself. The interview went overtime. I just gabbed and gabbed. I gave two or three behavioral examples for each question they asked. I was able to combine it with my knowledge of UNDP and talk about how I might do things differently in this position. I made suggestions. I gave my vision and dreams. At the end, I had no time to ask questions and boldly asked if I could call early next week to ask them. It turns out I was right on target for the written portion as well. I basically did a big dump of what I had written the day before, albeit in a slightly different order. I left the interview high--I could have done no better. If they didn't choose me, it was due to a lack of fit to exactly what they were looking for. It was not due to me messing up in any way.

I called early the next week and talked to the head of the department. They were really pleased with what they saw. As far as he was concerned, I was the only candidate. I said I had a lot of questions, and invited myself in for a second interview. This job was MINE!!! We had a wonderful discussion. The only fly in the ointment was that I was white and north american. My boss to be was white, male, and north american. His boss was white and north american. Her boss was white, male, and european. The purpose of this organization is to aid developing nations and the HR department was looking a little elitest (and I didn't mention huge and hierarchical for the size of the organization). But he didn't think that would be a problem since I was the only candidate. I was asked in for an interview with his boss.

That interview didn't go quite as well. She showed up late and left early. Given that it takes me a while to get warmed up, she missed me altogether. At the end, it just didn't feel good. My fur felt like it had been rubbed the wrong way. Nothing I could put my finger on, but a red flag was definitely raised. But I was told I would be invited in to talk to her boss. Then I never heard from them again. This was mid August.

I went for job interviews at other organizations--none very exciting, I always had this one in back of my mind. I finally called in early October (Bush had been pulling his usual imperialistic stunts at the UN so I figured everyone was laying low before trying to hire another american). The guy who would be my boss was shocked to hear from me. Had no one contacted me? He would get back to me. A few days later, I received a stock "thanks but no thanks" letter in the mail. I called back for an explanation. He explained that they decided to reorganize the department rather than bring in another north american. Everyone had to reapply for their jobs. It was probably good they hadn't made the offer. Yadda yadda yadda.

It was probably too political for me anyway. Tact is not a strong point of mine. I have a tendency to say what's on my mind--unedited. This was probably not right for me anyway (more yadda, yadda, yaddas...).

Well, I swallowed my pride and have kept in touch. They never filled the position and guess what, it's not getting done. They may bring me in as a consultant. They don't have the same constraints with consultants... Everyone who reads this, please cross your fingers for a second or two for me!

Next week, I'll start to go over some of my learning for good search behavior. They may work for some of you, they may not. Basically, I've learned that you can do everything right, but if there is no job that fits you and vice versa, there just isn't a job. And right now there does not seem to be an overabundance of jobs.

2003-02-24T11:53:00.000-08:00

I have come to the conclusion that the unemployment office has two functions. The first is to ensure that they either discourage you from applying for unemployment in the first place or get off it as soon as possible. The second is to ensure that you never get yourself in a position of needing it again. It is embarassing enough for many people to show their face at the unemplyment office and apply, even though we have been dutifully paying our unemployment taxes for years in preparation of just such an event. But the process is also confusing and demeaning.

I swallowed my pride and called the unemployment office right away. I've counseled enough of my friends who have been laid off to do the same thing and didn't want to wait around and hear them give me the same advice. I discovered that you can apply right over the web. That's convenient, I thought. Except the application was hard to find, hard to follow, and of course I was a "special case"--I had not yet lived in New Jersey an entire year. I switched to trying to get through on the phone. The phone was busy for days, but I was determined. When I finally got through, the woman looked up my social security number on her computer and pulled up my entire history--jobs, addresses, and all. That was pretty scary--I almost asked her if she could tell when my Young Nazis of America dues were due, but decided that I didn't want to lose 6 months of benefits for being sarcastic. One question she asked me really stumped me. Why was I laid off? Well, since I had never really discussed that with my ex-employees, I wasn't sure how to answer that. "Wasn't a good fit" wasn't an option. "Poor performance", well maybe, but not exactly. We finally settled on economic reasons. She assure me she would call my ex-place of enployment to verify. "Ask them, then", I said. I was so proud of myself for getting through and surviving that I took the rest of the day off.

Several weeks later, I went down to the office for my orientation meeting. I had no idea what to expect. I drove around finding no street parking and was forced to park in a lot at $7.50 an hour. Fully employed, I don't like to pay that much an hour. I hadn't had a paycheck in weeks, I was not thrilled. The place was a mob scene and I had no idea where I was supposed to go. Fortunately someone pointed me in the correct direction on the first try. The meeting was really short and the facilitator said that the orientation had been cut to a bare minimum. Their staff had been cut 40% and the number of people receiving unemployment was rising. Like everyone else, they are scrambling to do more with less and keep their own heads above water. The facilitator also thought they had a lot of newbies on-board so a lot of mistakes were being made (I guess it was cheaper to lay off seasoned employees then bring on new cheaper junior people--nothing like running a public agency like a business). They also had a lot of technical problems--they were switching from a mail based system to a phone/technology based system and had the usual myriad of bugs to work out. He also acknowledged that yes, the forms are darn near impossible for college graduates to figure out and pity the high school drop out with english as a second language. I volunteered to re-write the forms (something Iknow how to do in my sleep with my industrial and organizational psychology background), and he took me up on it. I ran in horror when I realized what I had done. Okay, I need to cut these for folks some slack.

The only other times I ended up at the uemployment office were when I made a stupid mistake and couldn't correct it because I couldn't get a live person on the phone--so it was a combination of me and technical problems. I learned not to go in late afternoon, because after hours of waiting in line, I got a number and was asked to return the next morning where I got to wait a few more hours.

I also learned that humans are really strange creatures. I encountered people who were a whole different type than I had ever encountered before... A husband and wife were waiting together in line. The wife took a break. As the husband neared the beginning of the line, no wife. He finally got out of line to get his wife and when the two of them got back the people behind them wouldn't let them back in line--cussing and yelling racial insults at them. The poor couple didn't speak english well, so the people in line screamed at them to learn english. They finally left without getting their problem taken care of. In line behind me, a woman spit water on another woman (who she did not know) because the other woman had done something she didn't like. Cussing and screaming racial insults at each other, the two women had to be ripped apart by a guard. Most other people shuffled their feet and looked at the floor when this was occurring. Not me, I was staring unabashedly at such immature displays of adult conduct. I had never seen anything this bad, not even in junior high school.

After that, I was careful not to make any mistakes. I haven't needed to go down there since.

And lucky me, I qualified for an extension. But that is coming to an end. I'm not sure what we are going to do. I'm lucky. I'm married and my husband has a great job. But he just took a cut in salary so that at his company they wouldn't have to lay off as many other employees. It's the second cut he has taken in as many years. I think more companies should use that tactic and I'm not resentful. Just a little worried.

2003-02-17T08:42:00.000-08:00

My ex-employer gave me 2 months at Lee Hecht Harrison, an outplacement firm, and another month if they felt I needed it (whatever that meant). In my discombobulated thought state, I thought that I had 2 months from when I walked out the door. So I freaked and immediately called LHH the moment I left not wanting to waste a moment of my time. It turns out that wasn't quite right, I had 2 months from the time I signed the contract...

I had always pooh poohed outplacement firms before. I knew how to write a resume (I thought) and how to look for a job (I thought). I couldn't have been more wrong, I discovered I had forgotten more than I remembered, learned some new stuff, and got a lot of support. I'm going to negotiate for outplacement in the event I get laid off in my next position.

What IS an outplacement firm? It is a firm designed to help laid off professionals such as myself find another position. It has all the services a person could possibly want. I was assigned a counseler Joanne who helped me write my resume, cover letters, and thank you letters. She helped me prepare for interviews, practice for interviews, gave me good questions to ask, and wanted me to stop by and tell her how the interview went as soon as it was over. She gave me names of people to network with and helped me practice what I would say in the networking meetings. She boosted me up and told stories that made me realize that this is increasingly "typical" in today's world among professionals--this wasn't my fault, I wasn't some sort of loser. Instead, this was a professional right of passage!

I also had the option of selecting a whole slew of workshops. The first one I went to was a day long session called "Managing your search project." During this session, we were given 10 milestones to work through to proceed in our search. It included surveying my environment, determining my objectives, creating my communication strategy (and resume), defining my target market, gathering marketplace information, getting my message out, talking with hiring managers, other methods of search, interviewing, cultivating offers, and negotiating, and the transition into the new position. Subsequent shorter sessions went into some of the milestones in more depth including networking, marketing, interviewing, negotiating an offer, etc. I figured, what the heck and took advantage of as many as I could take in the time I had allotted.

The firm has a website with a lot of the same information on it. I could access sample resumes, cover letters, etc. I could get access to a variety of databases for the searches I did on the companies I was interviewing with (as an individual, most of these services are not free). There was a place to post my resume. And there was a huge job posting service that I could search through.

You can even go to LHH and use their computers, their phones, their support staff, etc. So it is like going into the office every day. Basically, it takes the old axiom "It's easier to find a job when you have a job" and takes it one step further. It's easier to find a job when you have all the services a job offers but you have all the time in the world to look (and you don't have to sneak around).

Probably one of the best things about an outplacement firm was something I couldn't take full advantage of because my time was short (and no, I did NOT get the extra month). That something was support groups. There are tons of people milling around, professionals such as myself, all in the same boat. If I had a contract of 3+ months, I would have been able to join an official support group. Instead, I had to make do with chatting with folks around me when I went to the office. And I found some support groups that anyone could join...

My last day at the outplacement firm was even more difficult than the last day of my job. I really felt cut loose without a tether. For the first time I felt totally and completely alone.

As a note, I'm not advocating Lee Hecht Harrison, per se, but search firms in general. They are a great service. In the next few weeks, I'll cover some of the things I took away from that service. Unfortunately, I learned you can do all the right things in looking for a job. But if the jobs aren't out there, you still won't get a job.

2003-02-11T09:10:00.000-08:00

It turns out my roller coaster emotions are normal. Even though I thoroughly disliked my job, it was still a big loss. I have never been unemployed in my life--always being in school, work, or both. And I had never "failed" at anything either. So, like everyone else, I need to process through the stages of loss.

According to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, the stages of loss (or as they are more popularly known as the stages of grieving or dying, but they do pertain to any loss) are 1.) denial and isolation, 2.) Anger, 3.) Bargaining, 4.) Depression, 5.) Acceptance. I called a friend shortly after I was laid off. He told me he had been laid off before too. And he had gone through all 5 stages of grief, in order. It took about 5 minutes, then he spent the next 6 months laying out on the beach and working out before taking another job. The kind of friend I really love to hate.

I am going through these stages in a wholly different way. I knew from a few bad relationship break-ups what my style has a tendency to be. I go through the stages and then start over again. I've been journaling every day and here are some samples from my journal.

Day -1, the Tuesday after Memorial Day, 2002. "My first day back at work. I was so bored. I worked on turning my CV into a resume and other job related stuff. GAWD this is awful. I'm talking to (my boss) today. I wish he would just lay me off. I'm starting to come up with things to do if I'm laid off and they are sounding great. I would probably be bored in a month but anything is better than this.

Day +1, Thurs. (I got laid off on Wed, May 29). "I slept last night almost as well as I slept on vacation. But I dreamed I had so many huge pimples, almost growths, on my face that they were disfiguring. I'm a bit excited and a bit apprehensive, and a bit embarrassed. I'm numb too. And my dream suggests that I am, to some extent, blaming myself--that I am flawed and disfigured and everyone can see it and be repelled by it. But acne is curable, so I'm glad that that is my flaw."

Day +2, Fri. "I've decided I'm numb rather than feeling pretty good because I seem to be getting canker sores on my gums (usually asign of acute stress) and my allergy/cold/whatever it is has worsened considerably..." (It is clear here that I am in denial).

Week +1. "I hear myself saying angry things about my ex-employees. And I AM angry. I tried so hard and I feel like I could not have succeeded no matter what. The co-owner wanted me to fail and she ensured that I did." (Hm, I have moved to the Anger stage).

Week +2. "Things I want to do in my time off: Visit friends, go bike riding, go walking/exploring--take my camera and get some fun photos, go to museums. I'll keep adding to my list. I might as well enjoy my time off, practice being a type B person and relax. Pretty soon, I won't know how I had time to work. (Acceptance? Did I skip bargaining and depression?)

The next day. "I was suddenly hit with the realization that I was never going to find a job I liked. I went from optimistic to neutral for about 5 seconds and straight into pessimistic.". Worse, I was reading Fast Food Nation and got completely down on large corporations and governments and I go on to say "This world is not a very nice place to live." (Depression).

Mid June. "How am I feeling? Neutral. I can't imagine the job I will be getting next. That's scary, I can't even see it. Maybe that's good--no preconceived notion of what I have to look for. Maybe that's bad, I won't know it when I see it. (Acceptance). A few days later I was grumpy. A few days later I was confused. A few days later I was anxious.

Late June. "I feel "cut loose. Shoved out on one end, no place to grab onto on the other. No idea if anything will present itself for me to grab onto." (Depressed or isolated?).

On July 17th, I spent the day in a dither because I spoke to a head hunter and "as usual I came across as not having enough experience. I spent the whole day feeling like I will never get a job. I was in a total funk." The next day I talked to another head hunter and was actually overqualified for the job, which made me feel good, "Hopefully there is something in between the ones I'm hearing about." Back and forth, back and forth.

Fast forward to September 9, "I spent the first part of the week finally okay with the fact that I didn't have a job, realizing that it isn't entirely under my control and that I could only do my part. If there are no jobs that fit, well I could only keep looking. By Friday, I felt like if I didn't get a job soon, I was going to go stark raving crazy. I'm having one of my off days..."

Mid october after finally hearing from the HR department of the only job I have been in the least bit interested in, "I really feel cut loose now--there is no job out there I"ve seen in this area that I'm the least bit interested in. I feel like an astronautwho has been cut loose from her tether on a space walk and turns around and sees that the space ship has gone as well. Floating and no where to go. Nothing in sight anywhere...My self confidence couldn't get any lower and my motivation is about as low as it can go." A few days later it gets worse. "I'm just so confused right now, I guess I wish someone would just tell me what to do. None of my options, if they can be called options, are appealing. It is even more confusing because I've always been so goal oriented and have always known what I want to do next. ...And now because of what happened at my company, I'm afraid that I'll fail at whatever I choose. I've never had such a fear before, I've always gone boldly in. Now my ears are down, my tail is between my legs, and I have no idea what to do next." But a few days later, I wrote, "Jobs are out there. At some point, the universe will align, circumstances will be right, and I will be in a job I love."

I have continued to yo-yo like this throughout my search. The one thing that helped "stabilize me and give me confidence was my two months at Lee Hecht Harrison, an outplacement firm.

2003-02-04T11:27:00.000-08:00

When I was laid off, the unemployment rate in New York City, the closest metropolitan area to where I live and the primary target of my search was 7.6%. This has been rising throughout my search to the most current data in December of 8.2%. Thisnumber is higher than the national average which currently rests around 6%. And it is lower than what it was 10 years ago, the last time the country was in a recession (I know, we are NOT in a recession...).

A recent editorial in the New York Times (Herbert, February 10, 2003), quotes a headline from the past week in the New York Time's "Hiring in Nation hits worse slump in nearly 20 years. Two million jobs have vanished in the last two years. And the situation is much worse than official unemployment statistics indicate because they don't countr the people who have stopped looking for work. Over a million have given up since last summer. Even more dissturbing is the statistic that many out of work people are unable to find employment over fairly long periods of time. Nearly two million of the unemployed people have have been out of work for more than six months. The situation is looking pretty grim to me.

What these figures do not show is the unemployment rates by occupation. I don't have any hard and fast statistics here, but I have some anecdotal data around my areas of expertise--leadership assessment and development. My first company began seeing a downturn in the leadership development arena in 2000 with large cancellations and fewer new contracts. (Our reaction was to scramble and blame ourselves, since there was little indication yet that the market was dropping). My second company saw a downturn in the summer of 2001, a few months before I came on board. For both companies, things continued to get tougher, especially in the fall of 2001 and winter/spring of 2002. Although both companies are on firm ground, they are still struggling to capture business and aren't where they want to be (my first company had no raises for 2 years!). In terms of another indicator, I regularly look for jobs on the Society for Human Resources Managers home page. There aren't that many HR jobs posted compared to a few years ago. I've come to the conclusion that Leadership "stuff" is like the canary miners used to check for oxygen. One of the first things companies begin to cut when finances tighten is development activities. I would also guess that it is one of the last things to come back. Basically, there are few jobs in my area of expertise.

To compound my problem, I am still in the middle of my career change and have the added problem of convincing companies they should hire me over the many other available folks who have already DONE the job. In this conservative buyer's market, why should they select me? (not insurmountable, just difficult). In any case, I felt and feel in a tougher spot than I've ever been berfore.

"Everyone" told me that no one hires in the summer and the market was bad anyway. So I concentrated on networking this past summer. I was happy with the interviews that I got, but didn't pressure myself that I wasn't getting tons of interviews. Besides there are worse things than having the summer off! In September, the market did not "break open" as estimated, in fact it got a little worse. So I concentrated on networking. I was happy with the interviews that I got, but didn't pressure myself that I wasn't getting tons of interviews. One of my unemployed buddies finally landed a job after a year of searching. I was almost as happy as if I had gotten a job myself. I began picking up "interesting projects with interesting people" to give me a sense of accomplishment. I also began traveling with my husband on business trips.

The holidays started. "Everyone" told me that no one hires during the holidays. The market got worse. So I concentrated on networking. And I continued to get interviews at exactly at the same rate as the summer and the fall. Another unemployed buddy finally landed a job after over a year of searching. I was thrilled for her.

After the holidays, I continued. Networking, interviewing. All my interviews but one has led to a second interview. It is February. I am tired and bored. I began by putting 30-40 hours a week in my search and maintained a level of 20-25 hours each week after a few months. Now I'm wondering. Do I continue with the same methods I have been using or am I on a negative spiral to nowhere? If I change tactics, what are the new tactics? I'm feeling more lost than I have in a long time.

"Everyone" told me from day one that it would take at least a year to find a job in this economy. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. But I do know I have been on an emotional rollercoaster since "Day Zero".

2003-01-27T13:22:00.000-08:00

This is my unepmloyment story. I'm sure everyone has an interesting one to tell. Straight out of graduate school, I landed the job of my dreams. I was working for the company of my dreams, doing really interesting and important "stuff", learning a lot, and even better, I had an awesome boss who was a friend and mentor as well. I worked at this company for 8 years and I can say with truth that there were few days that I did not want to go to work. I almost never used all my vacation! After 8 years and the death of my boss, I felt the need to move on. The company was changing, I was changing, and I no longer felt I had such a close fit though it was still good. I also wanted to spread my wings and try new things. I probably wouldn't have left, but I had a fiance in another part of the country and it made more sense for me to move. We separated amicably and I am still in touch with many of them.

I interviewed at a couple of places before calling the owner of a small company, whom I knew through my boss. (I made my first mistake here. I assumed that because I had learned so much from my boss--both in terms of technical knowledge and emotional intelligence, that everyone who worked from him must have learned the same things.). The owner of the small company was thrilled I called. I interviewed with him and he said that he was looking for someone who could not only work with his company but also someday take over his role--as co-owner. That sounded wonderful to me. We agreed that I should meet his partner and take it from there. I took a whole lot of tests, interviewed, and was offered the position on the agreement that I would plan to stay for at least a few years because I would be doing entirely different things than I had been doing in my past job and it would take them that long to re-coup their costs to develop me. As I do not job jump, that made perfect sense to me--but I added that I would not plan to stay if it turned out I was not a good fit. They assured me, as their business WAS selection, that they knew it was a good fit and I needn't worry about that. In literature, this would be called foreshadowing.

My first 3 months on the job went okay. Though not up to speed yet, I felt I was moving forward. It was tough going for a few reasons. First, the work WAS different than I had done before and required a whole set of new skills. A whole set. I was on a steep and tough learning curve. Second, business was slow. Since I was the new kid on the block, others were placed on assignments ahead of me. Third, the owners did not get along. At all. Neither had anything nice to say about the other. I went into my 90 day review with little reason to worry. Or so I thought.

The review went as I expected. I needed to do more here, I needed to work on things there. Etc. Just what I expected. Until the end of the review. Then the co-owner informed me that I had done one terrible training program (out of several) and darn near lost one of their biggest clients. Huh? I knew I had had a training program that hadn't gone well, but when I checked the reviews they had been adequate. But I was even more flabbergasted. If I had done such a terrible job, why wasn't I informed the day after it happened? Why wasn't I allowed to help with damage control? Why wasn't this used as a developmental experience? Why did I not hear about this until now when it was too late for me to do anything about it? They gave me a raise, but I left the meeting feeling like I had been raped.

Things went down hill from there. I was immediately removed from all assignments and the co-owner refused to put me on any more projects. I was given little direction, little real opportunity for development (though I was given a coach who later told me that the co-owner was looking for any pretext to get me out), and little work. According to the co-owner, nothing I did was right. On top of that, the company was doing poorly due to the economy and was starting to change direction--a direction I was even less qualified for and not interested in. I couldn't sleep at night, I was stressed, I felt horrible, I was bored. Within a few months, I was looking at jobs on the internet and through search firms, even inquiring about one. But I didn't want to leave--I had promised I would stay. I got married a few months later and decided that when I got back from my honeymoon I would start looking for a job. I knew a "leaving" was immenent. Screw the promise, I couldn't live like this. Two days after returning from my honeymoon, I was laid off.

The conversation went like this. On the Monday I returned, I said to the owner who hired me, "We have to talk about what to do next." He said, "Let's meet tomorrow". The next morning after sending 2 emails saying "I wish they would just lay me off", I went into a meeting with both owners. The owner who hired me said, "I'm sure you are wondering why we called this meeting". I didn't answer. He continued, "We have decided to change our work contract with you." "Oh god," I thought, "They are going to offer me part-time work." He continued, "We are severing our relationship with you, as of today." My first feeling was relief. This job had been a horrible mistake on both sides. I don't remember the rest of the conversation except that I assured them that this was the right thing to do. I remember them thanking me for making it easy for them.

They were nice about it. I got severance and 2 months at an outplacement firm even though I had been there less than a year. And things didn't look too bad. There was this FABULOUS job on the internet. It was the job I had sent a query on several months ago, and it had re-opened. Perfect timing! The universe had aligned, I would leave this job and walk into that job.

Of course, things didn't work out quite like that.

2003-01-20T05:14:00.000-08:00

In my past career, I was a research scientist studying executive selection. One curious piece of information that I came across consistently, in the literature and in my own data, is that between 1/4 and 1/3 of top level executives (CEOs and 1 and 2 levels down) ultimately fail in their job. In my research, while some of these failed executives are demoted or moved to a different position within their company, a majority of those who failed are fired or leave the organization. In fact, 1/3 of my sample of 300+ executives ultimately left their organization. That's a lot of "failure" and that's a lot of unemployed executives.

I was curious. What happened to them? What was life like between jobs? What were their search strategies, how did they "change" (learn or develop maybe?), what kind of support did they have, how did they deal with it emotionally, how did they manage their finances, and how long did it take to find a new job (assuming they found one), If and once they landed in new jobs, how did it compare to the old job in terms of level and responsibility, how much are they paid comparatively, how satisfied are they with their new job, did they perform better, and was there better fit? I was guessing that most of the time the real issue in these executives leaving their organization was not due to their lack of skill in their jobs, but due to lack of fit with their organization (or department, or boss, etc.).

Little did I know that I would soon find out. Not through my usual methods of research. I was laid off myself...

2003-01-13T10:10:00.000-08:00

I was laid off in May 2002 and am still looking diligently for a new position. As one of my New Year's resolutions, I have decided to start a blog on my experience of being unemployed. Hopefully, I will find other highly competent professionals out there who are having a hard time finding a position, And hopefully my experience will provide support, ideas, and a little humor into this modern "right of passage". I plan to update the site weekly.